Walking with Jesus

Two weeks ago we stopped in to see my grandparents after the football game.  We had been there a few weeks before but in just 3 weeks my grandpa had declined a lot more than I was expecting.  He didnt really know we were there and slept the whole time.  When we got home Colin told me "Mommy, I dont think How-How will be there next time we go over there.  I think he'll be in heaven walking with Jesus."  It surprised me because we haven't really said much about how sick How-How was.  Just that How How couldnt walk because he was sick.  But kids know more than we think.  I told him he was probably right and then Colin got tickled and said "I bet he'll dance with Jesus." and it made me laugh to think of my grandpa dancing.  Although according to my grandma, he was quite the dancer back in the day.  Colin remembers when my grandpa was a lot stronger.  We used to go over and spend every friday morning with my grandparents.  He was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when I was pregnant with Joel and I wasn't sure he would see Joel - but he did and then got to meet Norah.

Today I got the call that my grandpa had passed away.  I had been expecting it but it still doesnt make it any easier.  All day yesterday I just felt a heavy spirit and couldnt shake it thinking about my grandpa.  One one hand I have been praying that the Lord brings him home because it was hard seeing him in so much pain, but on the other I didn't want to let my grandpa go.  Its so so hard to picture life without him.  He has been such a big part of my life.  He would even bring me dinner when I would be lifeguarding at the pool late and make sure my steak and apple pie were cut into pieces so I could eat and not take my eyes off the pool. 

The last conversation I had with my grandpa we were all sitting at the table before school started and the boys were eating coffee cake and my grandpa was watching them eat and talking with them when he said "you've got some good boys there."   (granted he kept calling them Charles and Ole which just made me laugh - but he loved them. And Norah too.  He spent a while just watching her and smiling at her and laughing when she would look his way)  But I love that those were his last words to me.   I'm very grateful for the Lord to use Colin as a comfort to me today as I just keep thinking about my grandpa and how right at this moment he is walking with Jesus.  And maybe, just maybe, might be doing a little dance. 

This was 6 years ago.  One of my favorite videos of my grandpa.