Back in January we went into his regular appointment. It had only been a few months since we were last in to see the doctor. But his doctor walked in and looked at me and said I think its time to remove his birthmark. She had consulted with the top doctors in the country. His type of halo nevus is very rare because of the size of it. It takes up half his waist. His doctor said half of the doctors said to see what the vitiligo does to his birthmark (its already eating away at it a little bit) and half said to remove the birthmark immediately. She said it was up to us but that it could take years and years for the vitiligo to completely eat it all or it might just stop and leave the birthmark alone. Right now Joel has a 1 in 20 chance of his birthmark turning into melanoma. By the time a biopsy comes back positive it would be too late to guarantee they get all the cancerous cells. And then she said to me that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about Joel since we last saw her and that if it were her child she would have it removed.
So we made an appointment to see the plastic surgeon. He answered all our questions but said that because of how large his birthmark is he isn't' sure if he could get it all in one surgery. So we've been praying that he can. I can't imagine telling Joel he has to go back again.
We scheduled his surgery and since then Joel has not slept through the night. He wakes up sitting in his bed crying for Mama. He hasn't called me Mama in years. Its enough to break my heart even more. Tomorrow is his surgery. We've been counting down to March 1 for about six weeks.
Joel has been using this surgery to his advantage. The last cookie, "oh I get that... since I'm having surgery." Ant Ant sent some valentines candy and it had one extra chocolate piece which Joel immediately claimed "since I'm having surgery." He gets to pick the movie we watch, "since I'm having surgery" haha! Ant Ant sent a present for Joel to have and I've gotten him some stuffed animals to have when he goes into surgery. I'm pretty sure Norah is dying to have surgery too.
Joel doesn't really know whats coming. They are taking at least an 11cm by 5cm piece out of him and they said 1cm deep. Joel has chunked up a lot this year and they said that would help them have extra skin to pull when they close him up. He will have internal stitches that dissolve and then external stitches. After that I stopped asking because Joel was in the room and getting nervous. We will have to keep him still for a while because we don't want him to rip open. So he hasn't slept but neither has his mother! We will all be very glad when this is all over tomorrow.
He will be out of school the rest of the week at least and then we will take it day by day when he will return. His sweet teacher has been working with the PE teacher and nurse to see what they can do to modify PE and recess so he doesn't feel left out but also doesn't hurt himself.
I had been praying going into the plastic surgeon that I would walk out of there with peace if we were supposed to do this now. Well the surgeon's first name is Jesus. I know its Mexican and pronounced differently, but to me it was an extra confirmation that we are doing the right thing. Tomorrow Joel will be in the hands of Jesus both physically and spiritually.
