School

This girl has thrown us for a loop the past two months.  She used to love school and once she was awake (shes not a morning person) she would happily get on the bus every morning.  I volunteer once a week in the library and its right after her lunch time so I would go eat lunch with her and then stay for the rest of the afternoon. She used to be so outgoing at lunch.  Talking to all her friends, telling me all about her morning.

Then she stopped wanting to ride the bus. To be honest we gladly started driving her in the mornings.  We figured she could sleep an extra 30 minutes and that was better for us all.  She would ride the bus home and all was well.

Then she started complaining and crying each morning. So instead of the drop off line we would park and carry her into school crying.  It started getting so bad that she would have to be pried off of us each morning.  And she would stay crying all day long.  If I didn't go into lunch she wouldn't eat and sit there and cry.  Even when I went she would sit in my lap and cry the whole time.  One day her kindergarten teacher saw three other teachers trying to pry her off me all while she was screaming her head off and came up to me later and said how disturbed she was that it was not norah.  And its not.  I would go home and cry too. We didn't know what to do.  If we pulled her out we would be reinforcing whatever fear she had. Which would be worse than what we were all going through.  She kept saying she didn't want someone to take her or me.  She was never worried about the boys (which they were highly offended!) The guidance counselor was working with us and Norah trying to figure out what was wrong. I have spent most of November and all of December in school each day. She's fine if I'm there.  The guidance counselor said she was showing severe separation anxiety. Its been heartbreaking to watch her crumble.

We think we might have figured out what happened.  I was working in Richmond the same day they had a lock down drill at school. I remember because within two minutes I had calls from both Norah and Joel's schools.  I picked up the phone thinking a child was sick but it was the schools calling to say that a lock down drill was happening.  In Joel's school a man banged on the door saying "let me in let me in" (at dinner that night he said that he wanted to yell out "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin") Norah didn't say anything so I didn't think it was a big thing in her school. And I was home that day to get her off the bus.  But it came out with her guidance teacher that a man kicked on the door. That same week a girl in her class told her that a real life joker came and killed her little sister while she was gone.  That story reinforced the lock down drill that someone could be coming to get her or me.  She now knows the story was all made up but now to get her fear gone. We are now in counseling trying to get whatever switch was flipped closed again so Norah can go back to confidently walking into school.

One good thing that has come out of this is a new friend for her and I.  Madelyn transferred into school a few weeks into the school year and she would come and cry and cry each day at school.  Norah told me about her so I reached out to her mom and we had a playdate together.  Then Norah started crying and Katy, the mom reached out to me.  One day while I was walking Norah into school Katy was in the drop off line and she rolled down her window and asked Norah to hop in her car. Norah hopped in and for the first time didn't cry walking into school.  Apparently that's not allowed in the drop off line and someone wanted to stop us. The security guard told me later she saw what was happening (she knows us really well by now) and yelled to everyone not to stop us! haha But now Norah and I drive to Madelyn's house each morning and Norah and I hop in their car and we drive the girls to school each morning.  Sometimes the carpool includes donuts, lollipops or candy.  We figured they cant cry if their mouths are full! We are hoping to get the girls both comfortable enough to trade days. Its been great having another mom understand and to talk to about all of this. And Norah and Madelyn have developed a sweet friendship.

Norah has such a great teacher and it has been fun getting to know all the kids in her class. If it wasn't a great place for her I would  have pulled her out of school already. They really are a great group of kids.Today she came home and said she didn't cry all day in school.  Its been weeks since that's happened. So we ended December on a good note!